Serious question, so please, no smutty or childish answers.

My wife used to have loads of interests and was quite an active person.

Now she seems to have lost all interest in life, and is content to obtain out of bed at lunchtime, and sit in front of the telly all day with the curtains closed until it's bedtime again. Never going anywhere and never meeting anyone.

She's got a disability, but it doesn't impair her physical ablity to do things for herself. She just chooses not to bother.

The situation I'm trying to aid her with seems more to be a normal umbrella of lethargy and apathy, possibly bordering on depression.

I so desperately want to aid her, but she doesn't seem to observe this as a problem.

How can I obtain her motivated so that she wants to pull herself out of this downwardly spiralling rut that she's found herself in?

Try to go to counseling together and observe what is going on.If you could make couples nights for you and your wife where you go out somewhere to eat and a movie.Try to think up some intriguing methods if you have children contribute a family night where you go out and do something too.I hope that helps some *hugs*

she perhaps isnt yet in a grave stage of clinical depression, but as you say, grave apathy bordering on depression. i think the best thing to do at this stage is to literally give her a reason to survive again and a reason to obtain up in the mornings as she requirements a focus and something to look forward to.i have seen this work wonders in similar situations.



she requirements an interest. you don't specifiy her disability so i can't offer you specifics, but a project, a hobby, an interest or a group or even a pet such as a cat often give the person a new lease of life. Have a htink about what you think would have this impact on your wife. A project of some description is ideal as the person always has a bolster of self esteem seeing their plans come together to form a whole, and it makes a person feel very positive. I'm sorry I can't aid more but probably some lines to think along?

try and obtain her involved in a team sport that is succesful, then she will want to win more and more, therfore getting out of the house

get her into counseling and beginning a med treatment the bulk likely depression prozac diet exercise and counseling should aid her

She might not be "choosing" to not do anything besides sitting in front of the telly, or not do anything else. Sounds like clinical depression. Why not talk with her about seeing a therapist, or better yet, a psychiatrist, which is a dr. who can prescribe medication if necessary. Depression affects everyone around the inflicted. It's sad. I suffer from it. Try to be gentle about it when you bring it up, because I'm certainly she knows how she is affecting you. Good luck.

She should speak to the Doctor.Perhaps she requirements to go out more,meet new people ,could she join a club or go to evening classes . Perhaps if you arrange a few outings together it may help. I can't think of any factors other than to encourage her socially ,the doctor could rule out any physical causes for her feeling this way.

Do you have any photos of her, when she was fun? Why not just scheme a nice weekend together away from the house...and MAKE her go..tell her you want to obtain away from that drab house, and have some fun,..tell her you miss the technique she was,..tell her to please go, that you're worried about her,..take her to a fun casino or something..but obtain her away from the funk she is in..and above all, tell her how worried you're about her, and how much you love her, and what can you do, to make things better..always be kind.

She requirements a reason to bother going out, I think you should take her camping in the South of France (or anywhere) for a few days, it sounds like she really requirements something to reignite her fire...go do something together a walk in the country, anything just obtain her out of the house and obtain some fresh air into her head & Lungs, it's a mood thing, I wouldn't resort to the doctors just yet for fear they put her on medication which might only make things worse in the long run...convince her outdoors is the new indoors....don't let her away with sitting around all day, she seems to have got into a very bad habbit...

Don't be afraid to ball her out of it, it really sounds she requirements a wonderful kick in the ass and until you beginning kickin she won't beginning moving....

She's obviously disturbed by something, don't stop pushing until she comes out with it....even if it brings tears...

Best of Luck, I hope everthing works out for the 2 of you...

people who stay in bed all day tend to feel that they cant be bothered with any thing it actually makes you feel worse and you obtain out of a routine and it plays havoc with your brain



get her motivated buy her a dog so she has to obtain up and walk it not in the garden



give her things to do ask if she could do you breakfast in the morning so you could get up early and have a chat it will be nice to observe her before you go to work



ask her to go to the shops to obtain you somethings make it up if you want .



when she has completed task one



walk the dog and breakfast buy her some flowers or take her out shopping and make her feel nice you could do this with out sounding patronising



also alteration your consuming habits

eat healthy and not lagging foods this will make you feel more energy



and the bulk of all talk go for evening walks after dinner go swimming weekends there is so much to do that will not cost



make her feel happy again and don't let her go to bed in the afternoon find her a part time job or voluntary work to obtain her to socialise with people .make her feel wonderful about herself

I was like this for about 2years, it started off as minute things and developed into clinical depression and agraphobia. I would as others have said call the doctor, ask them to make a home visit. it sounds as though she is depressed, i would explain to her that your concerned about her, suggest an evening indoors, a meal, film, something to brighten her up, beginning off gradual, expecting her to go outside, take a walk, cinema etc will be far too intimading for her. I urge you to be understanding and be there for her, i know how hard it's to be compassionate and how frustrating it is, but she requirements that security, you'll be her strength and reason to improve if she does have depression, giving up on her will make her observe no reason to obtain well, possibly trigger much worse depression symtoms.



I hope things obtain better for you both.

Hi, I am sorry to hear about your wife's condition. I would say a visit to the GP will be the first step. The GP could assess whether she is depressed or if there is a physical cause that is making her feel exhausted etc. It would also be beneficial if friends/ relatives could aid too. She is very lucky to have you as a support and it is, not doubt, difficult for you too. Good luck.

hi swampy ,this is like reading about myself there a few years back i know exactly how she feels ,you didnt say what age she is could she be going via the menopause ? def also sounds like depression ,drove my husband to despare i could have stayed in bed forever ,i knew i had to obtain up but for love nor wealth i just couldnt wait till it got dark so i could go back to bed , if she wont go observe the doc obtain the doc to make a house call she desparatly requirements anti-depressants of some kind ,and once they kick in hopefully she will beginning to observe light at the end of this dark tunnel cos thats what it feels like , and for you i know its difficult take a step back cos if you do all the housework making meals ect she will let you ,cos i did i cosidered why worry "hes" there to do it for me ,i know she probly dosnt mean that but depression makes you feel like that ,lethargy and apathy, is the the bulk comman symptoms of menopause and depression or both , it was only when my husband got the doctor to call in to observe me and gave me medication which took about 6 weeks to kick in i eventually, slow but certainly managed to observe things as they were ,im still on medication but whats a pill a day for the rest of my life as long as im out of that dark tunnell , your wife will also observe this but she def needs aid ASAP , with your support she will ultimately hope to beginning feeling better , hope this is of any aid to you and another thing "you"must take care also because looking after somebody with a mental sickness can take make a almighty strain on you to let us know how you obtain on and tc to youse both fingers x it will all work out for youse both x