When my daughter was 13, I came home when she cosidered I will be gone, and she was spanking herself with a stick and her bottom was bruised, I grounded her for that, and asked her why she was doing it, and she told me that it aroused her. I took her to a psychologist and he said that there is no treatment for her and that would be a part of her for the rest of her life. I feel this behavior is very dangerous and harmful, and I am concerned. I was divorced when she was 4, and my parents got her from her dad's house, and they spanked her and whipped her for everything, and I found out and gained custody of her, because I didn't want my daughter to be raised like that. She expressed those spankings as being hurtful and often cried when talking about them. Why is she spanking herself now? What can I do to stop this?

This is not wrong this is masochist behavior. BDSM is not wrong it's just what turns some people on. It is not self destructive behavior so please don't try to alteration her. She just enjoys things that you don't. Some people have dissimilar sexual tastes than others and your daughter is just one such person.

If a psychologist couldn't aid you, I doubt if someone on Yahoo can. I doubt that your daughter will harm herself to the point of endangering her life, though.

Take her to a mental health facility that treats children. The psychologist who told you that will be a part of her for the rest of her life was wrong. She can be helped and it's crucial while she is young to obtain her aid right now. The longer it goes on the harder it would be to aid her. wonderful luck

If a therapist couldn't help, i am not certainly what creditable advice anybody on Yahoo is going to be able to provide. Plus it perhaps means it's not a mental issue. Sometimes people are just into odd stuff. If they are not risking health issues, i never heard of someone dieing from a sore butt, then i would say let her be her own person. It is her survive to live.

LOVE HER keep here busy and don't make a almighty deal out of it negative attition fill just as wonderful as positive attition. Teach her to do something nice for herself and something nice for other.

Your therapist was full of crap. That's not common behavior for a 13 y/o. It's behavior of an abused child. At 17, she requirements to want to aid herself. If she does, look for a therapist that specializes in adults that had childhood trauma and abuse.

Very tough to overcome a behavior related with the profound reward of sexual arousal. If you find something that works, share it here.

I deal with the same problem. I have been spanking myself since I was 18, and I got sexually aroused from it. I have wondered myself why I was like that and why it gave me sexual arousal. I found in a lot years of research that spanking causes blood to flow from your buttocks to your genitals and causes arousal, and the same nerves in your buttocks is wired to your genitals and a severe spanking causes sensations to radiate further and cause arousal of your sexual organs. Nothing can be done to stop this and this is addicting. Once addicted, you cannot stop. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Encourage your daughter and tell her that you're sorry for grounding her, and encourage her to accept that it's who she is. I researched this and there is no treatment for this condition - even though a psychologist does not consider it normal, but is ok.

I really like Tom C's answer, but I have my own ideas and thoughts to contribute too. I hope they are helpful.



You're perhaps not going to like my answer. In fact, you might find it completely and perfectly repulsive, but I still give it in the spirit of helping to make her safe.



That being said, she perhaps gets some self-gratification, whether sexual or otherwise, from her behavior. Perhaps, because of her prior experiences, she feels a need or desire to be punished (whether this is a rational need or desire is not so much relevant anymore), and the only "safe" person she could rely on to do that that she trusted was herself.



I agree with the other people who said that you perhaps won't be able to stop this, because her desires and requirements for "self punishment", for lack of a better phrase, are still there. What you could do, however, is to let her know that her ideas and feelings are okay, and that if she is willing, she can come to you, either for discussion or for physical punishment if this is what she feels she needs. You may not want to spank her, and that would be totally understandable, but it sounds like she requirements somebody who can provide both guidance and reassurance to her, both physically and emotionally. Right now, you're probably the person she trusts the most, and as such, she perhaps would trust you not to hurt her more than she feels she truly requirements to feel the physical pain. Physical pain can often be used to substitute emotional pain for some people.



I'm currently 30 years old. Over the last year or so, I've been exploring my own requirements and desires in this area. I was not abused as a child, but I have experienced some rather strong emotional difficulties in my association with my mother. I've also made some pretty bad personal mistakes in my life. As a result of these mistakes and as a result of my association with my mother, I have a very strong need/desire to be spanked by a woman. As an adult, I'm currently seeking out a association that will aid me safely explore this aspect of myself in more apposite online communities, and hopefully beyond that, into a real-life relationship. Since she is 17, this may not yet be an obtainable path for her to take on her own. (All such communities call for that you be 18 at least to join for legal factors of their own.) You have here the opportunity to provide for some very intimate personal requirements of hers which she perhaps is not willing to ask you for, but which she may be more than willing, and needing, to accept from you if you propose it to her. You'll absolutely want to have a wonderful long discussion with her about all of this though before you do that to make certainly she feels comfortable with it, and if, in fact, she does ask you to "help her with this", then please don't hesitate to do so. It may be the the bulk loving thing you could do for her.